I was expressing a problem I had to my boyfriend the other day & as I was drafting up various versions of the same text in attempt to explain emotions without being able to talk face to face (which is not an easy feat), I noticed something. Every time I write and rewrite, I’m always the one at fault.
If I’m feeling insecure, it’s something i need to work on. If I’m sad, it’s because of something that I did wrong. If I feel unloved, it’s because I’m too emotional. It’s never because someone else doesn’t compliment me often. It’s never because someone else hurt my feelings. It’s never because I’m not told I’m loved enough.
& this isn’t just about my relationship with my boyfriend, or even my friends and family for that matter, but in every aspect of my life.
This is something many females can relate to. I’ve seen my mom struggle with it in her relationships or at work. If something isn’t working, it appears to always be because she is failing in some way. & dang, it’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself. No wonder women always feel inferior. & we do it to ourselves.
So sure, while sometimes (*often) I am in the wrong, it’s not always. From here on out I will no longer automatically make myself to blame. I will no longer force myself into inferiority.
